A Bit More Sun Than We Could Take.

So, I've been pretty morose lately.
I'm not actually as sad as I seem.
I swear.
I'm not even half the things most people think I am.

Here's some songs to walk in the sun too:
Emerald Lake, AB - Said The Whale
Fish - Hey Ocean!
A Kiss With A Fist - Florence & The Machine

It's your birthday on friday.

I'll send you a nice message.

Instead of sourly groaning the day away.

Here I Am; A Rabbit Hearted Girl.

I'm sorry I'm so awful.

And that it takes so long to see.

I'm just so good at hiding it,

that even I don't realize.

I wish my flaws were first sometimes.

So it goes.

It's Like... Hazy Days, Ya Know?

I probably shouldn't watch Skins on my iPod when I'm on the bus.
But it's funny to imagine the people watching over my shoulder seeing the nudity.

This is my most recent realization.

I probably don't have a chance with you.

And that's okay.

Because it's just so wonderful to be alone.

I Am A Lovesick Gentleman Who Pines And Pines Over The Smallest Things.

I guess I don't know what I want.
But it is lovely to feel something different every day.

Midas Is King, He Holds Me So Tight And Turns Me To Gold In The Sunlight.

I need to stop walking in the rain all the time,
people must think I'm the saddest person in the world.

Songs to walk in the rain to:
London Halflife - Metric
A Stone Would Cry Out - Sam Roberts
I Want You - Kings of Leon

You've said my heart is black,

You say I'm much to dark.

I need to make it clear that

there's no color in my heart.

You say that I'm the girl for you
But somehow, I still make you blue.
And when you bring me up to bed,
the knives we take turn the room red.

If You Could Only See, The Beast You've Made Of Me.

There's a drumming noise inside my head
That starts when you're around.
I swear that you could hear it,
It makes such an almighty sound.

Louder than sirens,
Louder than bells,
Sweeter than heaven,
And hotter than hell.

As I move my feet towards your body,
I can hear this beat.

It fills my head up and gets louder and louder.

Did You Think I Wouldn't Notice?

The only time you loved me was when we were fucked.

Emotion Sickness

"Some women follow men,

some women follow their dreams.

If you're wondering which way to

go, remember that your dreams

will never wake up and tell you

they don’t love you anymore."

-Lady Gaga

And life; sometimes it's not alright.
We make the best of our fist fights.
This could be the very first time,
We put away the knives for a night.

I Am Your Neighbour.

` I had another experience today where I stopped and thought
"Oh wow, I am actually such an asshole." I think I'm living some
sort of reverse karma. I should probably quit so I don't have to
pay for it a second time.

`I can easily trace my worst behaviours back to my mother.
But I'm glad she's here.

`On my wishlist; a typewriter, Lady Gaga tickets, new tattoo,
Jimmy Choo tote, NYLON subscription, ProTools.

" If you like me, look up. You like me. You like me.
Look up, if you like me. Look up, if you like me.
Look up, if you like me. "

I Wear My Ball Cap To Hide My Big Eyes. You Wear Your Black Dress To Hide Your Big Thighs.

I've been contemplating a new tattoo.

I want the symbol for infinity on one

wrist and the word "live" on the other.

Essentially, it would translate as "live

forever." I'd get them in white ink.

I've been thinking about it for about

a week now. And by some twist of

fate, I came across this picture on
http://www.contrariwise.org/ today.

She was inspired by this story by

Ray Bradbury, recollecting the

reason he started writing. The

story is brilliant. I want the tattoo

even more.

Perhaps I'll give in a little this time.

You win this round, Fate.

He Catches Raindrops From His Window; Making Puddles In His Hands. He Sees How Quick The Water's Rising As Another Raindrop Lands.

I'm trying really hard to save you.

Please don't kill yourself.

It's hard to convincing somebody to live,
when they make dying sound so appealing.
I don't know who's winning this debate,
but we might both be losing.

I want you to live,
and you make me
want to die.

10 By 10, 3 By 3 Was The House That Buried Me.

My prince in devil's armour,

and upholds no one's honour.

Wears a crown of bottlecaps,

Behold; this is my lover.

Got married on the mattress.

The bedbugs; they were our guests.

Maid of honour and sheets solid gold,

we wrapped ourselves in her dress.

I'm unhappy again.

Fuck.

I Knew You Would Take All My Honey, You Selfish Mother Fucker.

A lot of people lately have been talking to me again. People from years ago, people I used to love, people I haven't seen in months.  People falling in and out of love.

How remarkable that they should come to me.
I'm a failure in the processes of love.
Though I am honest, I am forthcoming and I listen.
I embrace logic and reasoning over emotions.
So in the end,
it all makes sense.

I usually tell them:

`Stop living for someone else.

Your life is yours to live;

yours to die.

`Love as much as you can. But know that you might

one day have to live without that love.

Not fear, but know.

`Find something to be passionate about. Feed your mind with something tangible that you can always have. Plant the seed of something lovely in your heart and grow it eternal. Something you can't live without.
No. It cannot be a person.
It should never be a person.

- A boy I used to love told me;

"Stop dumbing yourself down... and gentle up!"

I used to be really sweet. I've been bitter lately.

I've been validating myself by how

the opposite sex sees me.

Yes, it's disgusting.

But I'm fixing myself.

I'm getting better everyday.

- Fate keeps getting in my face.

  Many people wait their lives

away for destiny.

I tell destiny to

fuck off.

- I just realized today:

Music and fashion are the only things that make sense to me.

These are the languages I speak.

I don't understand boys.

Or my brain.

Or my body.

I'm doing some learning.

And a lot of practising.

I miss people who don't even know who I am.

It's That Color That Never Fails To Turn Me Blue.

I FIGURED IT OUT. So proud of myself right now.

"Everything worth it; hurts a little bit."
- Take It Like A Man, Dragonette

So, not completely correct, but pretty damn good for right out of my cerebral cortex.

No One's Getting Out.

Clavicle Surface Bars;

I want them bad.

Unzipped; She Doesn't Exist. So Unloved; I Took Them Standing Up. So Stuck Up.

I've been thinking of this phrase constantly and I don't know where it's from:

"Everything good has to hurt a little bit."

It's probably not exact but if anyone in the world knows where it's from, please tell me!
Thanks, lovelies.

If You Loved Me, Why'd You Let Me Go?

I've decided every Sunday, I'm going to put the postsecret I relate to the most up here.
Because some days, it's frightening. It scares me how similar I am to the rest of the world.
I want to go out and find these people.
This is what my life's about.
This is my endeavour.

Not that I relate to this one, but I find it particularily intriguing.
I think the hottest bridesmaid is in the middle.
But I have a feeling the girl on the left was the one who sent this in. This makes me hate and admire the world all at once.
I just love the subjectiveness of almost everything, but objectification makes me weep.
It's especially sad when we do it to ourselves.
It's depressing how much I do it.
(Yes, I do realize I've done it once already in this post.)
I'm really making an active effort to stop.
I really want the world to change.
It starts here.
It starts now.

P.S. Thank you Lynsey for reminding me of One More Night - Stars.

I also relate to it an overpowering amount.

"Choose The Highest Bidder" Was My Answer When They Told Me I Was Up For Sale.

This is how it works;

you're young until you're not;
you love until you don't;
you try until you can't;
you laugh until you cry;
you cry until you laugh;

and everyone must breathe,
until their dying breath.

you peer inside yourself,
you take the things you like,
and try to love the things you took,
and then you take that love you made,
and stick it into some--
someone else's heart,
pumping someone else's blood.

and walking arm in arm;
you hope it don't get harmed,
but even if it does,
you'll just do it all again.

On the radio;

We heard November Rain.
That solo's awful long,
but it's a nice refrain.
We listened to it twice,
'cause the dj was asleep.

Why Would I Hitch A Ride When I Can Drive?

I'm not writing about boys anymore.
I never cared before.
So I'm stopping now.
Too much time ;
thought;
feeling
are wasted.


I've fallen in love with the studio.


I've listened to only The Distillers for about a week straight. (I pretty much live every song.)
I got to record the drummer to one of my favorite bands.
I've been in the studio a total of 12 hours since Tuesday and I've spent 10 sleeping.
I am tired and I'm napping right after I post this. (I never nap.)
It's been a good week.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead!"

I Am Fucking Scared Of Boys.

"Everything we do is either out of fear or love."

Travel it all away.

The road's going to end on me.

Men; they like me because I'm a warrior.

Now the river's going to wash all

Yeah, the river; it spoke to me

It told me I'm small

And I swallowed it down.

If I make it at all

I'll make you want me.

I'm A Silent Star On The B-Roll, I'm The Mirror Fucking Image Of No Control.

Ham it up.

Camp it up.

Look lively!

Be fabulous

and fantastic

and young.