This is me. It's always been, I just never put it into words.
I'm so tired right now but I've only been up for twelve hours. There's pains in my head that haven't stopped since I got out of bed. I don't even know what's happening right now.

I'm going back to the way I was before. I'm going to stop looking for bad boys. And I'm going to stop looking for the perfect one. I'm looking for no one now. No one and nothing can make or will make me happy. Because whatever makes me happy will eventually become absent and with absence comes misery.

I want to feel nothing. You can't lose what you don't have. I'm glad I feel this way. This could be a terrible way to live, but I could be doing it just right.