I'm so funny when I'm drunk. On the way home from an amazing night out, I had a theory so I wrote it into my phone so I could read it when I was sober. Here's how it goes. (I corrected many spelling errors.)
"Each and everyone of us pursues our own pleasure. No contest. I contend that we are born gay but convert ourselves to a heterosexual state only to forward our own species. I contend that we are nothing but a virus, consummating our purpose to survive but those with enough will shall manage to pursue pleasure in spite of what they are."