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30.4.10

You Still Love Him But She Does Too. She'll Take Him Far Away From You.

I hate to say it,
but your charms are wasted.
It may not matter,
although, I'm flattered.

You sugary boys in corner stores,
you're all so bad for my sweet teeth.
It's cute and clogs my arteries.
It's shy but full of calories.
One more teensy quip, I'm sure,
could give me diabetes.

` I don't feel like this anymore. And I don't know if that's awesome or horrible.

28.4.10

How Could Such A Creature Survive In Such A Habitat?

` I don't really like love songs.
I don't like girls who need a love song to feel loved.
Love songs are easy. I want a sonnet. Seriously.
Fourteen lines, perfect rhythm,
and in iambic pentameter.
And not some cop out of nonsensical content
for the sake of form.
I want it to be lyrical.
I realize this is so unlikely it shouldn't even be said.
And that's what I get for not living in the 17th century.

` I dreamt about you again.
I'm glad it happened while I was napping
so it only wrecked part of my day.
And for the first time since I left this,
I wondered if I should have.
Because my dream was perfect and possible.

And then I thought if our dreams meant something,
if they defined how we should behave
and what the right thing to do was;
we would barely be alive.
Every one of us would have jumped off a building or a bridge,
attempting to fly.
No more regrets.
I only want you in my dreams.

` Hope is nothing. Never hope.

` Dr Jack Kevorkian is a superhuman genius.
A man who aids people in ending their lives,
just made so much sense of mine.


Yours is the only ocean.

26.4.10

So Am I Really Free?

Fuck it all.
Fuck blue eyes. And boys who play guitar.
(Except Alex Turner.) And only listening to
songs with meaning. And needing a reason
to cry. And idolizing girls just because their
bones stick out. And simple things that I
can't use logic to define. (Males.) And
people who have no regard for life.

Fuck being your own worst enemy. And
staying in one place forever. And thinking
it's wrong to want to be alone. And apologies
that never need to be said. And feeling guilt
for things that aren't your fault. And having
good intentions that end up turning on you.
And not knowing what to say. And wishing
you were someone else.

I've waited 19 roads for you,
To steal your time: seconds; a few.
You're one of me, I'm one of you.
Let's talk of all our favorite routes.

21.4.10

If You'd Only Say Yes.


We can't share a silence.
The world gets way to quiet.
But everytime I hear you speak,
I want to start a riot.

Anything to shut you up,
Your voice will slowly drive me nuts,
I will burn my eyes and ears,
I hate you that damn much.

` Yes, I'm aware this is angry and incoherent.
I just don't understand myself today.
I'm sad for no reason.
And I kind of hate everything.

` You make me feel like such an asshole.
I don't mean to be rude, I just don't know how to deal with this
and it's all I can do to keep from feeling bad later.
I'm trying to get the worst part over now, but you're dragging it out.
There is no transparency, please get over it
and leave me alone. Because I'm hurting and I shouldn't have to.

20.4.10

I Could Be Your State And I Could Be Your Nation.

And so I never really knew;
why I do the things I do.
All that I can say is true;
is that I never think of you.

You tried to make me feel bad,
but I declined, you see.
'Cause The knives I put in your back
were the ones you threw at me.

Now that you've got your weapons back,
I hope you're faring well.
I hope you've learned how not to put
another girl through hell.

Go say things you really mean,
without being so fucking mean.

Suddenly, I'm glad you're gone,
I probably shouldn't brag.
But I just couldn't carry you
That weight; I couldn't drag.

Take some time to fix the things you broke.
Take back the words you didn't mean, yet spoke.


Why don't we just sit and stare and do nothing?
Nothing at all for a while.
I like the way you smile.

19.4.10

Will You Hold My Hand When I Go?

` I wonder how many people read these stupid posts.
It's kind of scary to think of.

So hey,
if you don't know me personally,
or if you know I don't like you much,
stop reading my blog.
Thanks.

` Well, I was going to play guitar.
But someone who lives next door is playing theirs
and they are way better than I am
and it's too warm to shut the window
and I wish I could see them.

I guess that's all I have to complain about today.

` I really just want to pack a suitcase of my favorite things and move to France.
Some days this seems like the only solution.

`Go get the new She & Him album.

17.4.10

Bloom Where You Are Planted.

` The greatest thing I've done recently is make a boy ten years older than me my best friend.
You've helped me sort the puzzles in my brain. I'm very grateful for your logic and honesty.
My heart is now unbreakable. I owe you one.

"So you've got a month to try and get him.
If something happens, great!
If not, you never have to see him again.

So... why are you stressed exactly?"


I Think You're Confusing Sadness With Relief.


Stop letting other people tell you how to feel.
Stop feeling the same things over and over.
Feel something new.
For something different.
Lovers are fleeting and they never stay.
We're all just too young.

I'm not ready to love yet,
I don't know when I will be,
and I'm certain it won't be soon.

And it doesn't even make me sad.

14.4.10

All The Pretty Visitors Came And Waved Their Arms And Cast The Shadow Of A Snakepit On The Wall.

I woke up alarmed
I didn't know where
 I was at first
Just that I woke up
in your arms
And almost immediately
I felt sorry.

'Cause I didn't think
this would happen again.
No matter what I could
do or say.
Just that I didn't think
this would happen again.
With or without my best intentions.

And what ever happened to a boyfriend?
The kind of guy who tries to win you over.
And what ever happened to a boyfriend?
The kind of guy who makes love cause he's in it.

I want a boyfriend.
I want all that stupid old shit
Like letters and sodas


You got up out of bed.
You said you had a lot of work to do,
But I heard the rest in your head.
And almost immediately I felt sorry.
I can feel it in my bones;
I'm gonna spend another year alone.

It's fuck and run,
Fuck and run.
Even when I was seventeen.
Fuck and run,
Fuck and run.
Even when I was twelve.


You almost felt bad.
You said that I should call you up but
I knew much better than that.
And almost immediately I felt sorry.

And I can feel it in my bones;
I'm gonna spend my whole life alone!

`I should probably stop listening to this song.
I relate way too much.
But it makes me think of my very best friend.
If I could find a way
to fly to you right now,
I would in a snap.

`I threw you out of my life tonight.
It was hard.
But it was good.

12.4.10

I Wish He Never Looked At Me That Way.

I'll Be Gettin' Out As Soon As I Can Fly.

Fuck.
My.
Fucking.
Life.

` Don't get your hopes up.
I'm going to tear you the fuck apart.


9.4.10

Write With The Pen In Your Mouth.

Be honest with me when I ask
if she's who he adores.
I can't help but feel like I
have heard this all before.

The life I live; the story that's been
told a thousand times.
It's written in a catacomb
On walls of stone and lime.

The hourglass which poured its sand
and etched out every rhyme;
It's broken now, it's on a shelf,
And hidden in my mind.

6.4.10

We're The Queens Of Noise; Come And Get It, Boys.

Life is good today.
There isn't much to make me sad right now.
I hope I haven't jinxed anything.




























All of this needs to be in my wardrobe.

5.4.10

Clumsy Hands.

`I really miss my best friends.
I hate the world for not letting
me be happy in the city where they are.

`Here's a quote from someone who is probably
the closest I have to a best friend out here;

"The gift is only as good as the giver who gives it."

He said it a couple days ago.
It's a long story in the way it relates to me.
Still I think many people would appreciate
the validity of it in their own lives.


3.4.10

Cherry Bomb.

I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's yesterday.
I realized that I am Holly Golightly.

I saw the Runaways today.
I want to be Joan Jett.
















"I'll never let anybody put me in a cage."

2.4.10

No More Calling Like A Crow For A Boy; For A Body In The Garden.

I don't know what to do about you,
I don't know what to do about him,
And I don't know what to do about us.

Fighting too many battles at once makes them equally undefeatable.















Some days I just can't seem
to listen to these songs.
They don't sound the same
if our conversations go wrong.

And then I make you laugh.
I see you smile at me.
It's those days that make
These songs so heavenly.

And when you find someone to love,
The one who'll love you back.
Do you live your life double
or do you cut it in half?













How do I make him love me?
How can I make you stop?















I wish that I could be as
confident and reckless as you.
I'm much too vain, far too concious
to simply come unglued.


















Who is the lamb and who is the knife?