To logically determine what is making me so sad and to try to eradicate the problems so I can fucking live my life without wishing to be euthanized.

reasons why I'm unhappy:

- i'm 15 pounds heavier than I am okay with.

- the only thing i've ever loved was put down while i was away for work.

- i'm head over heels for a boy who is entirely unavailable, with no chance of becoming anything but.

I went two whole days without texting you and I went weak tonight after one drink. And nothing came of our conversation. At least I have nothing left in me to make me think it's okay to text you again.