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2.8.12

Show me the way to forgive you.

I have this friend at work, who is really awesome. He's about as old as my dad and he's a lovely gay man. He works in theatre, he's smart and he's pretty funny. I thought about how weird it is to be in your forties and not have a kid. Just on the pretense of how promiscuous and sexually active people can be. Say most people start having sex by 18, then by the time you're 45, you've probably dealt with a pregnancy at some point. Then I figured well, he's gay so it makes sense why he wouldn't have kids. But then I thought about my dad. My dad only has kids because he was a normal, young man who had a young girlfriend and they did what young couples do. My brother and I are accidents, but that doesn't really affect me. It only bothers me when I realize my brother and I are just remnants of a relationship in my father's history. If something as simple as my dad being more careful or even being gay could have been the case, I wouldn't exist today.  And I wonder how many of us in the world are just scraps from the sleaze and stupidity of humanity's youthhood.

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