I had a dream last night about this guy I met at Sasquatch. I found him pretty cute and for some repulsive reason, he is still on my mind. So I liked him and in my dream, he liked me too and we touched and kissed and before I knew it, I was awake. My happy unreality stripped away like a worm on a line. I remember looking him only once in the face and noticed it was off, just slightly surreal. This is a common occurrence in my dreams and I wish I was smart enough to see it while I'm asleep. So I could tear myself out before my own horrible subconscious damages me further.
I got up to pour a cup of coffee and I just stood there, leaning on the counter, realizing how little control I have over my life. I waited a while before I went on with my day. I told my mother I'm not going to Houston. I went biking with my brother and asked him to be my life coach for a while. I looked at the grass and reveled in it's lushness. I sucked in as much sunlight as I could. This stuff just makes me happy when nothing else can.